Do you know how hard it is, to be funny in a second language?

   Three weeks into language classes and I am slowly (very slowly) gaining more and more fluency. But also more and more cockiness, so I have sent out my résumé in Italian and now I have a job interview with a guy who expects me to be what Google Translate made me.

   You quickly forget how difficult it is to learn a new language. I don't mean learning all the bullshit, and memorize a few sentences – but really to learn. Including the implications, the sayings, the humor and the expressions that just cannot be translated. Do you know how difficult it is to be funny in a second language when you only know half the words? All meaning is lost, and you end up having to explain the part that was supposed to be funny, not insulting: “No no, it was a joke..I was being funny!” and the other guy look at you with confusion and pitty “aaahhh” and try to fake a smile at this strange foreigner. It is very embarrassing for everybody. Mostly for me.

   Studying a new language takes you through a number of steps. Step one is looking confused a lot (smile and wave,boys). Step two is learning all the bad words but not knowing when to use them, so you just use them all the time. Vaffanculo to you all. Step three is making strange sounds, trying to shape the new words and sounds (I am looking at you rolling R’s!)
But the best step is step four, when you are finally being understood for the first time by someone who doesn't know you. Finally you are able to shape an entire sentence, without having to repeat it or give up and point. And you are being understood by this person who replies without even lifting and eyebrow. Meanwhile, you are overloading with joy in your head, thinking “I did it, I cracked the code!” and you forget to pay attention to the follow up question and you are back to being a foreign idiot. But that moment is worth all of the trouble. And the more you get of those moments the more you slowly feel that your disguise to blend into this new environment is working. They think you are one of them. And now you can even speak to them while looking like you’ve done it all of your life. 

  Then you run into step five of trying to make sense of the sayings. “In the mouth of the wolf.” They say. Or, “In the ass of the whale” To wish you good luck, but don’t ask me why they think those places should bring any luck...

  Before even moving here I set myself up to achieving some goals. Obviously one of them was to rule the country, but the first ones was to be fluent in 3 month, get a job and be independent in this place with one of the highest levels of unemployment worldwide. For some reason, that fact alone just made me more interested in achieving my goals. Even with a slow start of not speaking the language. Arrogant? Yes. But after two years of struggling and feeling like an imbecile at an edducation I didn't have the talent for, this is just the confidence boost that I needed. So rolling R’s and asses of whales, I am here to stay and I will make the best of you.

  
   Next stop: How to get through a job interview in Italy.