Things that happens after you turn thirty

Admitted, turning thirty wasn't as traumatic as I had expected it would be. I anticipated that I would wake up, poor my self a big glass of wine, and keep that glass continuously full all day. That still happened, but I also ended up having a great day (not just because of the wineflow). 

It became a day full of surprises. Friends drove all the way down here to visit me on the day, and those who couldn't make it, had made me a sweet video greeting. Turning thirty, became more of a confirmation that, what ever I did in life so far, hasn't been so bad. I actually did okay, although most of the time, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. 

But some things have happened in regard to becoming older. Uncomfortable things. Things, that no one warns you about, but that you just all of a sudden discover. Habits and bodily things, that changes. I have made a list of some of the most remarkable ones. 

1. You find hair in strange places. One day I was sitting down, wearing shorts, when i noticed a black hair on my thigh. As I wanted to sweep it off, I discovered that it was attached. To me. On my thigh. Since when do I have hair on the thigh, I thought and panically started inspecting my legs. Then I found a little colony of them, on the back of my leg. Not long ones and not really black. But they were there. 

2. You no longer look at teenagers with nostalgic jealousy, but more with a motherly concern. What are they thinking wearing those shorts that shows the lower part of their asses? Don't they know which signals they are sending? They could get in trouble! 

3. The confidence grows. Once you can say "I am a 30 year old woman" it tend to attach it self with a certain level of dignity and respect. I no longer take any crap from anyone. I am a grown woman, educated, with life experience, and I demand to be treated with the highest respect. I tell this to people, and then I go home and watch My Little Pony. 

4. You've found your style and you are sticking to it. I have tested out different styles from bad, to terrible and absolutely ridicules. Baggy pants, neon colors, plateau shoes, goth, short blue hair that didn’t really fit anything and made me wear a hat a lot. I still buy things that I think I can pull off (I recently bought a pair of denim shorts and it makes me look like a trying-to-be-hip mom) but generally I stick to what I know. 

5. Wearing heels are for special occasions that never happens. Like, when you can sit down all evening. And take a taxi to that place where you can to sit down. I need comfortable. Not that I don't still buy high heels. I love them. To look at, and wear at home for a little while. In my pajamas as I eat chocolate and watch "Four Weddings”.. 

6. Sometimes Saturday nights are just better spent at home with a book, or a movie and popcorn. Those hangovers starts taking a lot longer to get over. 

7. You discover that first white hair and get an existential crisis for over a week until you conclude that it was probably just a very, very blond hair. Yes it was. 

8. You conclude that old dogs can't learn new tricks, and decide that you may not be perfect but it’s too late to change now. 

9. You balance between the romantic dream of having a child and starting a family - and an overwhelming fear of ending up in just that situation. 

10. You have become too old to try to make a friendship happen with new types of people. Experience and stereotypes have created a barrier for which kind of people you bother spending your time with. I just can’t be bothered with people who are all into artsy things and recycling or has a tattoo that says “My Daddy Walks On Water”. 

11. New habits has joined the old ones. It is perfectly rational to bring disinfecting gel in the metro, refusing public baths, or having discussions with your self out loud about what to make for dinner.  

12. Most of the new music that are produced today, is just really unambitious and talentless. 

13. Have children always been so rude, and noisy? 

Stop, and smell the selfie stick

This does not have much to do with Italy. But I am going to tell it anyway.

A few days ago, I was standing at a this beautiful sight near Rome. It was an old volcano, now a big lake which- according to the rumors - has no button and is full of mysterious creatures. Indeed an intriguing place. The lake was surrounded by mountains, where green trees were blooming, birds chapping and the smell of fresh flowers and mountain air gave the feeling of new beginnings.
And there, by the edge of the lake, I saw a couple. Standing close together in a romantic moment - Holding a selfie stick.
I got captured by this couple, who walked around at the end of their selfie stick, who guided them to go here and there and back again. Smiling, making faces, kissing and looking happy for the selfie stick camera. They seemed completely oblivious to the beautiful surroundings they were in, but were instead focused on giving a great show to the camera and their social media audience. Their behavior in that moment seemed completely controlled by exterior forces. Did they even ever stop to enjoy the romantic moment that were actually happening between them. Or was it all just for show and likes? Who cares if you even like each other or enjoy each others company if it LOOKS good?

And - with the fear of sounding like an old fart, who hates new technology, I have to say this - Haven't we become strangers to our own world, when Social Media influence us to behave in this manor? Put the selfie stick down and smell the flowers, people! When did it become more important to live for other peoples "likes" than to actually live and experience the moment, that you will later put a filter on and expose with a couple of hash tags?

We are yet to find an appropriate balance between enjoying the moment and wanting to share that same moment in return of peoples approval. But more importantly, we need to find the balance of NOT dragging other people down with us, if we are one of those infected with the need to put a filter on everything. So if you find your self in the need of wanting to take a picture of your self and create a nice picture-moment for Facebook, please do not drag me into it. I am yet to find a polite way to say, "Get that camera out of my face" when people lean in and want to take a selfie with me in it. Looking ridiculous is not a stranger to me, but at least let me choose when it should be thrown in the face of the public. Because when you hold that camera up, I need to make face where I look like I am having fun with my friend, and not want to throw my beer and run away and I am forced to face if the public approve or not. How many likes are enough likes for us to look back at that moment with joy?

Even if you don't include me in the picture, when I ask you to not involve me in your staged behavior, please don't then hand the camera to me and ask me to take a picture of you, where you look kind of casual, kind of sexy, but not in the obvious way, but maybe kind of casually handsome so that the person you really want to see the picture will be intrigued.

Stop. Just stop it.